Will He Stay When the ‘Cuffing Season’ Is Over?

 

Another dating term? Yes!

Whether you like it or not, modern dating has changed into something in older generations can’t relate to anymore. Unfortunately, if you’re still in the pool, you do need to stay updated with all the new terms so you know the game.

I’ve read many articles which specifically talk about how young people nowadays don’t give a damn about commitment. Yet they care too much about their psychical needs.

And I couldn’t agree more on that.

This is also why so many new terms coming up, especially in the online dating community.

At some point, ghosting someone has become a trend and seen as something “normal” while in a reality it’s just a f*cked up thing to do.

And so is cuffing. What is it and why you should be aware of the signs earlier? Let’s get into it.

Getting to know what cuffing means in dating

According to psychoanalyst Babita Spinelli, L.P. on mbgrelationships,

“Relationships formed during so-called “cuffing season” are usually short-term in nature and end once spring rolls around. The cold weather simply encourages people to look for a more steady and consistent partner to spend time with until the warmer seasons return.”

While this kind of relationship doesn’t happen much in Southeast Asia, it’s apparently very common in Western countries.

The reasons for each individual may vary but one thing is for sure 99% of them don’t look for a long-term relationship.

They care a lot more about making the best out of it during the wintertime. To some extent, they may even bring you to their parents and friends during the holiday seasons but you’ve got to wait until the summer comes to be 100% sure of their “commitment”.

Because in most cases, something always comes up on their end during summer which makes it legit for them to break up with you.

Signs someone you’ve been seeing is cuffing you up

Here are some clear signs you can look at:

1. Most date plans are indoor and low efforts

It’s cold outside, I know. It’s not like there are many outdoor things you can do during the cold season. But one or two dinner dates outside are still possible.

My point is, you need to catch the low efforts earlier.

If they aren’t interested in taking you out and never bringing you to the public then it’s nothing more than a casual relationship to them — and you’re definitely being cuffed up.

2. Your gut tells you they’re dating down

Things they say spontaneously such as;

“I usually don’t do it with someone…” or “You aren’t fully my type but…”

Those are the exact examples of someone who’s dating down. They feel like they have to compromise and let go of some checklists on their “standard” book and date you.

You certainly don’t want to be with someone who always thinks they deserve better than you but since no one else’s around, they could be stuck with you for a while.

So listen carefully to what’s your gut telling you. Most times, they’re right.

3. They’re excited about the summer but never include you in the plans

When you have a conversation about the future, they always seem to have big plans for the summer. But never even once did they mention the “we” words.

No invitation — nothing.

While you think it might be too early to talk about the future of this “relationship”, someone who wants you longer in their life will at least ask if you’d like to join them in their next upcoming adventures.

Be it travel to another continent or simply just do something fun together when the weather gets warm.

If they don’t put it on the table then it’s time for you to create your own summer plans too.

Just don’t wait around.

4. Your whole relationship is mostly based on sex

There’s no such thing as deep conversations. You both might be so passionate about having sex with each other and you might think it’s the best you’ve ever had but that’s all to it.

Nothing more.

When you initiate to talk about other things about life (because c’mon, life isn’t all about sex after all), they show disinterest and find it hard to stay engaged in the conversation.

Parting Thoughts

Depending on where you are right now in your dating life, there must be a pattern you should pay attention to.

If almost all of your relationships started in the Fall and ended by the time Spring rolls, then you have definitely been cuffed up.

With that being said, hopefully, this new term will help you become more aware of your own dating behavior and see if it’s still something you want for the long run.

If not, then it’s a good time to make a change.

This post was previously published on medium.com.

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The post Will He Stay When the ‘Cuffing Season’ Is Over? appeared first on The Good Men Project.

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